Personal Scarlet Letter

La Seanda Hendrick AP English Ms. Avall ane Period 2 October 10, 2012 PERSONAL SCARLET LETTER try Insecurity, a word were all familiar with. A persons insecurity is a expression of iodins conceit and pride within their self. There are many things I am insecure about my face, my weight, my body, the list goes on. These are all things that I guess are damages about myself. I tend to figure that everyone is against me. As if I am everyones enemy. That no one is as genuine to me as I am to them. My flaw is overthinking. Always over analyzing souls words or actions into what I assume they are meant to be.This major flaw of mine I remember is the cause of my insecurities. Over thinking has caused me to stress myself out over minor situations that could have easily been avoided. I authentic early, very early, as early as 7 years old. In my young mind, I thought I was just like everyone else. That was until someone finally spotted it out, fashioning me aware of my abnormality. T his then made me live self-conscious about my animal(prenominal) appearance. For years to pass, I continued to believe that my abnormality was wrong. As if I was supposed to look like one thing but did not. I hit puberty before anyone of my age.I was the tallest amongst my friends and classmates and the roughly developed. Boys at my age did not look at girls that were bigger than them, or looked older than them. They were interested in girls that looked their age, which was only about 9 and 10. I did not take this as Im too high-priced for them or Theyre not on my level yet. I took this as boys dont want me because I am ugly. I would think that heap only wanted to befriend me just to have a reason to laugh at me, or make me cry considering I was a huge cry baby I would think no one genuinely wanted to be my friend.We are all taught to esteem our surroundings and who we allow in our lives. After all, you are a reflection of those that you surround yourself with. As Ive grow n up and have matured, a lot, I am still very self-conscious, but I make out not to let people know. All the hurt and agony I feel, I hide and keep to myself. It put up hurt to hear the truth, the craving to know the truth but afraid of what the answer may be. This is where the overthinking plays in. The simplest thought, I over analyze and interpret in my own way and this can most likely cause me to come up with conclusions that were never discussed.These thoughts that I come u with tend to bring me down, making me feel worse than before. My mind is consistently in motion, I am eternally bear upon something. Without the peace of mind I desperately want, I will always scrutinize everything. This is a truly ad hominem flaw that no one could ever point out, much more complex than any physical flaw. I have grown to not care what people have to say about what may seem as a flaw to them but I still undergo a personal struggle of attempting not to over analyze situations and allowi ng them to solve itself instead of making up a solution in my conflicted mind.